Sam & I AM

If my soul could speak God, it would scream,
of nights I prayed it was all a dream.

Of floors I hit with bleeding knees,
my childhood lost to one man’s greed.

Of fists that shattered my strength to dust,
and family who taught me not to trust.

Of glassy eyes that gave up on a savior,
Even death passed me by… unworthy of that favor.

Of a voice silenced far too young,
As truth trembled on my tongue.

Of bruised wrists being bound, resilience taken,
That’s what a heart sounds like breaking.

Of pain crying out, dressing up as pride,
Because these are the tears I swore to hide.

Of mourning the girl who learned too soon
That love can look like a padded room.

But if you listen just beyond the ache,
You’d hear the sound my darkness makes.

A holy hush like autumn rain,
Of Jesus calling out my name.

You’d see the chains start to shake,
The weight of shame begin to break.

A voice long buried roared to life,
Cut through the dark like a sacred knife.

Learning how to just be still,
What was only an idea suddenly became real.

And in that stillness, truth took form,
A heart once cold, faith was born.

If my soul could speak God, it would scream,
Not in torment, but redeemed!

An eternal cry from deep within,
All I had to do was let You in.

It would scream of mercy holding back the cost,
A judgment I deserved but never lost.

Not just to spare me but instead make me new,
Your grace stepped in and changed my view.

You waited for surrender, patient and still,
Found me crumbling at the base of my will.

Lifted me up when no one could see,
The bondage of my past still breaking me.

On my knees with you, just us that night,
Gently waiting, as I gave up the fight.

You whispered to me, “Daughter, stay,
I’ll carry you the entire way.”

My soul would sing of freedom from pain,
Like barefoot twirls in healing rain.

Of peace that soothed my shattered mind,
In a hope I thought, I never find.

No gentle words or whispered themes,
No quiet thoughts or fragile dreams.

If my soul had words, it wouldn’t speak.
No dear God, it would scream.