Sam & I AM

I was supposed to be protected,
but instead, I was prey.
A child used as bait,
then just pushed away.

I was supposed to feel safe,
to be held when I cried.
But love wore a mask,
and abandonment lied.

I was supposed to be nurtured,
to grow without fear,
but arms turned to weapons,
and silence drew near.

They said love was gentle,
but it came with a cost.
So I stopped believing,
in what I had lost.

Then came the whispers,
of mercy and grace,
but I still wore my armor,
just in case.

I was supposed to surrender,
but I doubted instead.
How could love live in me,
when I felt mostly dead?

I heard He was faithful,
but I’d known too much pain,
So I held Him at distance,
with questions like chains.

But He didn’t retreat,
didn’t leave like the rest.
He sat with my fear,
and He called me blessed.

Now I’m learning again,
unlearning the lies.
Love isn’t performance,
or masks in disguise.

It’s not what they showed me,
with rules to obey.
It’s the Father who finds me,
when I turn the wrong way.

It’s peace in the chaos,
a whisper when I break.
It’s mercy that stays,
when I shatter and ache.

Love isn’t shame,
or something to dread,
It’s grace through God,
It’s Love Instead.